Archive for April, 2009

Rejection

Apr 28th

Posted by Julien McArdle in Everything

2 comments

I’m 23 and I’ve never had a girlfriend. As a consequence, most of my family thinks I’m gay. I’ve had the “it’s okay if you are and we will still love you” speech more times than I care to count. Which is great. It means they love me.

But the thing is, this celibacy isn’t by choice. It just so happens that I’ve been rejected by every single person I’ve ever asked out. No exceptions. That’s how it was like in high school, then in university, and now in the real world. I’ve never known what it is like to be loved by someone other than my mom.

I don’t know what the problem is. I like to think I’m normal. It’s not like I go on a date and then start talking about a collection of cut fingernails I’ve been saving. No – I’m decent looking, handle myself well in social situations, I’m polite and have interests beyond the standard fare.

I’ve been told that my problem is that I’m too nice. That girls like guys with an edge. That girls only start looking for the nice ones later in life. I don’t know what to make of that. Whatever my problem is, for it is my problem, I’m beginning to give up. One can only be rejected so many times.

Acts of Hate.

Apr 9th

Posted by Julien McArdle in Everything

I landed today on the YouTube channel of Nation for Marriage, a non-profit group that purports to “fight for the future of marriage.”

What they’re campaigning for is to abolish gay marriage. But as I read through the official website, it becomes rather clear that this has nothing to do with the sanctity of marriage. It has to do with a religious movement seeking ways to ostracize gays, and fight to keep them as outcast from public view.

Why? Because the religion says so. Outright demonizing of gays is no longer viable in this age, so groups like these strategically attempt to undermine the acceptance of gays in other ways. In this case, they use the morality card as a tool to deny fundamental rights. It’s an effective tactic, as any question of an ethical nature delays legislators and splits their constituents, meanwhile serving to pass off their views as legitimate.

Or at least that’s how I wish it was, as the whole issue would make some form of sense. It could be packaged neatly, and the movement behind it dismissed. Yet the truth is that there are a variety of people against same-sex marriage. They come in all genders, backgrounds, and ages.

It’s hard to understand those that sit on the other side of the fence. An emotion that could easily be confused for hate fuels these people. They subscribe to inducing great torment, and yet are completely uncaring of this fact. It’s a particularly dangerous human state, one which is passive, and doesn’t involve violence nor rage. After all, these are rational people, behaving in a calm intelligent manner. Yet, in this one aspect of their livelihoods, they are able to commit themselves to such vast societal destruction.

These are not bad people, yet they do bad things. Why otherwise good people are willing to cause such harm is a question at the heart of many tragedies, and is what makes this fight for equality so difficult.

I console myself in the fact that history will be on the side of equality, yet I wish it wouldn’t require decades for it to be so.